>”Eri do you need some help packing?”
>You see Rest poking her head into your room.
“Nah, I’m good. Just need to figure out what else to bring.”
>She smiles.
>”I don’t get how you didn’t figure this out sooner.”
>’Because you’re a lazy piece of shit.’
>Shoving the thought to the side for now, you focus back to deciding.
“Just distracted I guess.”
>”Well alright, I’ll be down stairs if you need me.”
>You listen as she leaves and her hoof steps descend down to the living room.
>Slowly, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.
“Just pack what I need, that’s all...”
>Sure, you’ve got some clothes, hoodies mostly, Connie said it can get chilly at night in Manehattan.
>But you want to bring something else, something a little more personal.
>Your eyes wander over to your desk, your book sitting there.
“Who knows, might feel the need to write.”
>’Yeah fucking right, more pathetic words for you to wallow in Eri?”
>Ignoring the thought again, you pick up the book and another stray thought joins the previous.
>’Something personal? How about what’s in the second drawer, that should help.’
>Your heart beats a little harder as your eyes settle on it.
>Slowly, you open it up, a pack of open razors sit there, waiting for you.
“I...I shouldn’t...”
>’Take one, you know you want to.’
>You shudder as pick one up, its metallic glint reflects in the dim light of your room.
“Not like I’m going to need it.”
>Before you set it back, you get a sudden change of heart and place it in your book.
>You take a pencil and a few bandages as well.
“Why am I doing this?”
>’Because you know deep down, that you will need it for when you cut yourself.’
>Shaking your head, you finish packing and take one final look at your room.
>Your eyes look over the room once more, it’s so plain, but it’s yours.
“I’ll be back soon...”
>Not like you’re leaving forever, but you’re still afraid.

>As you reach your living room, you see Rest sitting on the couch, reading a book.
“I-I’m ready.”
>She quickly turns her head to you and smiles.
>”Good, sure you got everything?”
>’How about a life? You don’t have one of those.’
>You give a fake smile, if only to hide the thoughts.
“Yeah, pretty certain. Not like we are going to be there that long.”
>Rest nods and sets the book inside her saddle bags before putting them on.
>She gets up and brings her own suitcase to her side.
>”Well then, shall we get going?”
“Mhm.”
>Your anxiety is flaring up, but you’re trying to silence it.
>The two of you head out the front door and you close it behind you, taking your home in.
>It’s still pretty run down, though Rest has been helping you fix it up.
>’That’s a lie, it’s more of her doing the work and you’re sitting around you disgusting freak.’
>Shaking your head, you see Rest looking at you with concern.
>”Eri?”
“I’m fine, just feeling my anxiety going up.”
>”Are you sure you want to still do this? I know Connie asked you, but if this is too much, I’m sure she will understand.”
>’How about it Eri? Just give up like you always do.’
>Fuck off.
“Y-yeah, I need this. It’s a step to getting better, like you said.”
>Rest smiles and nods.
>”Of course. Don’t forget though, if you feel like you’re losing it, just tell me, alright?”
>She has said this so many damn times now, it annoys you a little, but at least she is trying to be helpful.
>You nod and the two of you start to make your way to the station.
>Funny how far you have made it thus far, thankfully both Connie and Rest have pulled you out of your shell.
>Now of course, Connie asked if you would like to come to Manehattan.
>At first you were terrified, but then after talking with Rest, you realized this was to help you.
>Thankfully Rest agreeing to come along helped out a lot.

>When you wrote Connie back, she understood and sent two tickets.
>She even said she would meet you both at the station, that hasn’t quelled your fears though.
>Manehattan is huge in comparison to Ponyville, and with vastly more ponies.
>As you approach the train station, you see a few ponies pass by and some are even waiting around.
>Your eyes dart to the ground, don’t want them to look at you.
>Sure Connie and Rest have helped, but you still are having trouble.
>The damn thoughts still torment you and occasionally, you cut to make things quiet or to feel.
>It upsets Rest, but it’s not like you can stop.
>Don’t want the thoughts to get ahead, never want them to be right.
>That doesn’t stop when they are though.
>You’re pulled from your thoughts as you feel somepony touch your wither.
>Shooting your head up, you see Rest is the one touching you.
>Fuck, didn’t realize you were that deep in thought.
“I’m fine Rest, don’t worry.”
>Like many times before, she can see right through you.
>”You can tell me the truth, it’s okay.”
>Small part of you wishes she couldn’t really read you so well.
“I’m thinking about the past, and how this is a big step for me. Plus being around all these ponies doesn’t help too much, but I’m trying to push past that.”
>She nods and pulls away her hoof, you kinda wish she didn’t, it’s not often another touches you.
>’Desperate much?’
>Go fuck yourself.
>”How about we find a seat and wait till the train gets here?”
“Sure.”
>Rest leads you to a bench on the far side of the station, away from other ponies.
>Slowly, you feel yourself calm down, not completely, but it’s a start.
>Time passes and you play around with your suitcase, not much to do.
>Looking over, you see Rest reading a medical journal, not too surprising.
>She notices and lowers the book before smiling.
>”Guessing you’re bored?”
“Kinda obvious isn’t it?”

>She closes the book and faces you.
>”How about we talk then? Good way to pass the time.”
>What the fuck do you have to say? It’s not like you two don’t talk enough.
>…
>Well, not like you tell her everything, just most.
“How has work been?”
>’Wow, how original, did you think of that yourself?’
>Not now dammit.
>Rest looks a little surprised.
>”Not too bad I suppose, though it’s surprising that you want to actually hear it.”
>You almost never let her talk though, so that’s not that shocking.
>She continues.
>”One of the highlights was tending to the foal’s wing, they can be so darn cute.”
>She has a twinkle in her eye as she talks.
>”Some of them were born there as well. I love hearing their stories, they never cease to cheer me up. Even when I have to deal with a terminal patient, I try to remember seeing their happy faces.”
>At the mention of ‘terminal’ she starts to get a somber look on her face.
>Great, now you brought up bad memories.
>”While it does pain me greatly to see them suffer, I try to carry on for them.”
>She shakes her head and looks back to you.
>”I’d rather not dwell on that now, how about you?”
“Um...I have been trying to write more.”
>”Oh? You’re working on something new?”
>If you call writing down your thoughts new, then sure…
“Just playing around with ideas. Seeing what sticks.”
>Liar.
>Rest nods.
>”I look forward to seeing what you write as always Eri.”
>As she smiles, you hear a distant train whistle.
>You feel your pulse rise, it’s been a long time since you’ve rode a train.
>”Sounds like it’s just about time.”
>Slowly you nod and grip your suitcase a little tighter.
>Just remember, you can do this, you can get through this Eri…
>The whistle grows louder and you two stand up.
>Rest puts away her book and pulls her suitcase closer to the platform with you joining her.

>Sure this is scary, but you’re looking forward to seeing Connie again.
>That thought alone makes you calm down more, especially knowing Rest will be here to help you.
>The train slowly lurches into the station and other ponies are approaching as well.
>Some to greet friends or loved ones, others to get aboard like you two.
>As expected, when the train stops and the doors open, many ponies exit with their belongings.
>You can see Rest keeps looking at you from the corner of her eye.
>’Are you really going to rely on her that much? How old are you Eri?’
>Old enough to tell you to fuck off.
>’You can’t rely on others forever, you have to handle things yourself eventually. NEVER forget that.’
>As you’re about to argue with yourself, you see Rest moving forward, so you follow closely.
>You enter the car with her and look around.
>Some ponies are already seated and even talking.
>Others like you two, are finding their seats and places to put their luggage.
>However, being this close to so many is making you really nervous.
>Why now? Why do I have to be so damn broken?
>You bite your lip and try to fight against the nerves.
>Thankfully Rest finds a seat for you two, and you plant yourself next to the window.
>You let out a slow breath of relief and look around again.
>Rest is getting your tickets checked with the conductor and sits down.
>Glad she didn’t see you losing it.
>”You okay?”
>And you almost didn’t notice her looking concerned either, answer her.
“Yeah, still a little nervous, but I’ll be alright.”
>She nods and pulls out the book again to read.
>Might as well find something to do as well other than bothering her.
>You open your bag and pull out your own book.
>Same black cover, same heart, same you.
>Just as you open it, a familiar object falls out.
>Shit! You forgot your damn razor was in there.

>You scramble to pick it up before Rest sees it.
>Fortunately she doesn’t see it, but does notice you moving about.
>”Did you drop something?”
>Hiding it under one of your hooves, you give her a smile.
“Thought I did, it’s alright though, just some lint.”
>She smiles back and goes back to reading.
>Too fucking close, as you grip the steel, it bites into your hoof a little.
>Not enough to cut, but it’s uncomfortable.
>Idiot, why’d you bring this?
>’You know why Eri.’
>Not again.
>’Sooner or later, you will fuck up, like you always do. When that happens, you’ll be thankful you have your habit to keep you sane.’
>As if.
>’You will see.’
>Shaking your head, you slip the razor back into the book and put it away.
>The train starts to move, and you decide to watch the scenery instead.
>Should’ve brought something to read, but that doesn’t matter now.
“It’s so pretty.”
>”What? Oh, the scenery? Yeah I guess it is.”
>You don’t bother to see if she is actually watching, instead you stay focused on the outside.
>However, you feel it start to lull you to sleep.
>Can’t sleep here though.
>Grabbing your suitcase, you get up and see Rest look at you with a raised eyebrow.
>”Something wrong?”
“Feeling tired, gonna fall asleep if I sit here any longer.”
>”Oh alright, this is going to be a long ride after all. We won’t reach Manehattan till tomorrow, want me to wake you for anything?”
>You shake your head and start to move past her.
>”Alright, get some sleep Eri, we have a long day ahead of us.”
“Yeah, I’ll try.”
>As you pass by the other seats, you ignore the other ponies, just focus on the destination.
>It’s not so easy, there are several cars to pass through until you reach the sleeper car.
>Thankfully there is no pony in there at the moment.

>You find a bed and bring your suitcase close, not like somepony would steal it, but don’t want to take that risk.
>It doesn’t take long for sleep to take you.
>You’re awoken after what feels like mere seconds.
“Wha-huh?”
>Groggily you open your eyes to see Rest.
>”Sorry to wake you, but we are about to reach Manehattan.”
“Wait, what? How long did I sleep?”
>She smiles.
>”Pretty much the whole day.”
>Not surprising, you’d rather sleep forever rather than ever get up again.
>Rubbing your eyes, you sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn.
>”I’m going to head back to my seat, see you there.”
>As she trots out, you grab your suitcase and bring it with you.
>You feel so groggy, don’t you get enough fucking sleep?
>’Why would you? You do nothing all day, except for cry or cut yourself.’
>Letting out a small groan, you try to ignore the thoughts on your way back to your seat.
>You join Rest and see the city out the window.
“Wow...”
>”Yeah it’s something else, nothing like Ponyville.”
>It’s terrifying, the buildings are so much taller and more cramped.
>Some of the stars are out and the sun is no where to be seen.
>The train slows down as it reaches the station and you feel your anxiety rise.
>This is it, you’re in another city, even if it’s just visiting, you’re actually here.
>You and Rest wait while the other passengers leave, allowing you both to be the last to depart.
>Just as you step outside of the car, you hear an all too familiar voice.
>>”Eri!”
>Connie quickly rushes to give you a big hug.
>It overwhelms you, and you can’t say a word.
>She pulls back with a large smile.
>>”I’m so happy to see you, glad to see you made it safely.”
“Y-yeah, you too.”
>”Ahem.”
>You both look over to Rest.
>>”I didn’t forget about you Rest, it’s just that it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Eri. The fact that she actually made it out here makes me so happy.”

>”Fair enough, you said something about us staying with you?”
>Connie nods and starts to lead you two away from the station.
>>”Of course, I wouldn’t ask my friends to stay at hotel when they could stay with me for free.”
>She really is too generous, but then again, Connie has always been a source of happiness.
>Wish you could be that happy, even for a fraction of the time.
>Connie hails a taxi for the three of you, her and Rest start to talk.
>As for you, you’re pretty tired still.
>You zone out along the way.
>”We’re here.”
>Snapping out of it, your rub your eyes.
>The three of you head up to the apartment, but as you close the door behind you, you let out a yawn.
“Alright, I think I’m going to go to bed, I’m really tired still.”
>>”Oh okay, I understand Eri. Can’t imagine this has been easy on you.
>Yeah, she can say that again.
>>”I’ll show you the guest room and let you settle in.”
>You nod and follow her to the hallway.
>This place is pretty nice, shame you’re so damn tired.
>She opens one of the doors and heads back towards the living room.
>>”Goodnight Eri, talk to you in the morning.”
>Letting out another yawn, you barely mumble out a response.
“Yeah...You too Connie.”
>As you reach the bed, you set your suitcase beside it and climb under the covers.
>The comfortable bed quickly pulls you into a peaceful slumber.